Lesson 5: Get Off Me, Bro!

All college students get a bit antsy over winter break. At first, the snacks and goodies you have been lacking while away from home can make the separation a little easier. Yeah you miss your friends, but Gramma's famous pecan pie? That eases the pain for sure. But, calorie-packed yummies can keep you content for only so long, after all.
How do you go about long-distance communication? You haven't been away from your new friends for such a long time before. The last thing you want to do is be the needy friend who sends "I miss you texts" Every. Single. Day.
Heaven forbid you be THAT guy. Oh lordy.
What?! Don't text your friends?! Before you get your snuggie in a wad, hear me out. Keeping up with your friends is great. But when you are hanging out with your friends at home, ditch the iPhone. (Not literally. I don't advise physically tossing your phone aside...trust me. Long story that includes tears, breaking glass, and several rubber cases later...)
And don't be THAT guy (Not the one from before, but another guy...maybe the first guy's brother) who posts "Bored...hmu" on facebook. First of all, "hmu"? I know it stands for "hit me up", but are you so stuffed from Christmas dinner that you can't move your fingers over a few more keys to type out the whole thing? Second, what does "hit me up" even mean? I'd love to punch you in the face, but if you ask for it, it seems a little less satisfying. And lastly, save yourself the trouble and just don't do it. Your college friends will still be there when you go back to school.
Moral of this very badly told story is: Even if you don't have a life, pretend you do.