Lesson 11: H.A.G.S!

"I'm just a little drunk on you and high on summertime". Thank you, Luke Bryan for singing the lyrics to what girls around the world will be naming their facebook albums for summer 2012. It may not be original, but dadgum, it's cute. And that's what summer is all about, right?

Summer is also the only time you can get away with posting pictures of yourself half- neckid (that't my accent coming out when I express the concept of "going without clothing and revealing one's body"). 

Yup, I'm talking to you Miss "Tanning...Summer12 <3" post on facebook. Seriously ladies, posting pictures of your legs glistening by the pool or a little looksie down your torso with a tiny pool in the background? I take it back, not even summertime is an excuse for that. Stay classy, not trashy, my friends.

But on a real note, summer is a great time to kick back and relax, forget about college for a few months. Toss the books in the trash and grab your matches. ACTUALLY, wait! Those things were expensive...so instead, rip off some unsuspecting freshman and sell your old text at ridiculously high prices! All the cool kids are doing it. Fosho. (That's a combination of for and sure, for you suburban white parents out there)

HAGS!!! (Acronym for "have a great summer", fifth grade yearbook style)

Lesson: I Lost Count, It's Finals Week

Finals:

The week where you nap, study, and consume countless calories in a non-stop cycle. It's the week where you walk out of your room without shoes, wake up with an imprint of a desk on your forehead, and swear off education forever. 

It's when all your friends tell you about their plans to transfer to some school on the coast or in the city, where they somehow believe education doesn't involve studying. That's not even logical, but neither one of you care because you are just so stinking tired of reading and memorizing (things you should have been doing the whole semester, but are just now discovering). Some people have this kind of behavior every week, but finals week makes such behavior socially acceptable. Almost.

You know you are doomed when you check out at Walmart with Monster, Five-Hour, and a bag of candy...and all the cashier does is give you a sympathetic nod. Thank you, elderly stranger, for your unspoken sympathy and pity.

Here is my advice:

Because in the end, "Screw finals" lands you a job flipping burgers. And as much as I like the classic American delicacies, I'd much rather have someone else flip my meat patties. But hey, that's up to you.