"Miss, were you not buckled?"
"No, I was not, officer" (restraining myself from inserting a sarcastic comment)
"Do you understand that Texas law requires you to wear a seatbelt?"
"Yes, sir." (No! I had no idea! I was born under a rock...kind of like that cartoon guy, Patrick Star. Could you please enlighten me?!)
"I will let you off with a warning this time, but consider yourself lucky, young lady."
"Thank you so much, sir! Have a splendid night!" (Not sure why I said "splendid". It sounded better at the time than: Consider YOURself lucky I didn't jack-slap you upside the head for pointing out the insanely obvious and making me feel stupid.)
Has ^this ever happened to you? University Police are full of surprises. It is my firm belief that they pick the most dense and dark places to park, conveniently hiding from vision and then BAM! Sirens in your rear-view mirror. Campus police are masters at hide and seek. You know that kid from elementary school that peeked through his fingers while everyone else went to hide as he counted to forty? The officers on campus were ALL those kids. How they manage to find you unbuckled the one night you forget to put your seat belt on has puzzled me. The one night you eat a little too much pizza and feel bloated, so you decide that a seat belt would just make you feel fat...that's the night they will get you. They probably have spies at all of the cafeterias, keeping tabs on who is stuffing their face.
These men in uniform keep us safe. They also keep us from gaining that freshman fifteen. Can't a girl have a cookie here or there and sit comfortably unrestrained by a safety belt in her car afterwards? The answer, my friends, is no.
Don't over-eat and drive, dummies. But if you do, put on that seatbelt and speak respectfully to the masters of the game!
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