Lesson 9: Birds and Bees

That title caught your attention, aye? I dont know why I felt the need to phrase that question in a Canadian accent, but I hope you appreciate it. I hear those mates have good bacon up in Canada...but it could just be a rumor. They have a lot of moose up there too. Which makes me wonder, why is the plural of "moose", "moose"? Um, hello? Attention to the grammatical gods: that makes absolutely no sense! It should be mooses or moosen and we ALL know it. Tired of my rambling? 

Well, that's how a lot of college students feel about relationships in universities. They just get tired of all the nonsense.

I love this picture because I have to admit, this is my plan too. I want to meet that special person in college, graduate, get married, have millions of babies, and see my babies grow up. The only thing I leave up for debate in that formula is the "millions". I'm okay with thousands, that's no biggie.

There is so much that could be said about relationships. When I saw this picture, I knew that I had to write something about relationships. Though I haven't been in college long, I think I've learned a few things I consider important:
1. Don't hate...Appreciate!
People are going to couple up. College is like mating season for animals. Everywhere you look, people will be holding hands and giggling in an annoying way that only people in love can pull off. Single or taken, you have to accept the fact that the people around you are going to have "significant others".
2. Sistas before Mistas...Bros Before (fill in the blank)
Just because you have found the "love of your life" or even your "love of the moment", dont ignore your pals. Because whether the romance fades or goes on forever, your friends will be there the whole time. No matter how much you want to hang out with your smookie poo or honey bunch, spend some quality time with the besties. And if you don't have friends...well, there are always dogs. Adopt a puppy.
3. Get a Room
Dont actually get a room...but realize that the way you and your snuggle bunny act around people effects everyone. Try not to make anyone feel uncomfortable, but save the ooey gooey for when you two are alone. The world thanks you.
And remember kids, it takes two to tango. And dont you even think about tangoing before you get married.

Lesson 5: Get Off Me, Bro!

All college students get a bit antsy over winter break. At first, the snacks and goodies you have been lacking while away from home can make the separation a little easier. Yeah you miss your friends, but Gramma's famous pecan pie? That eases the pain for sure. But, calorie-packed yummies can keep you content for only so long, after all.
How do you go about long-distance communication? You haven't been away from your new friends for such a long time before. The last thing you want to do is be the needy friend who sends "I miss you texts" Every. Single. Day.
Heaven forbid you be THAT guy. Oh lordy.
What?! Don't text your friends?! Before you get your snuggie in a wad, hear me out. Keeping up with your friends is great. But when you are hanging out with your friends at home, ditch the iPhone. (Not literally. I don't advise physically tossing your phone aside...trust me. Long story that includes tears, breaking glass, and several rubber cases later...)
And don't be THAT guy (Not the one from before, but another guy...maybe the first guy's brother) who posts "Bored...hmu" on facebook. First of all, "hmu"? I know it stands for "hit me up", but are you so stuffed from Christmas dinner that you can't move your fingers over a few more keys to type out the whole thing? Second, what does "hit me up" even mean? I'd love to punch you in the face, but if you ask for it, it seems a little less satisfying. And lastly, save yourself the trouble and just don't do it. Your college friends will still be there when you go back to school.
Moral of this very badly told story is: Even if you don't have a life, pretend you do.